Things I have Seen Riding the Bus...

Some things I have seen while riding the buses of Portland:

1. A man constructing a full suit of chain maille armor.

2. The world's flattest sandwich.

3. A homeless man who offered to let me punch him for a dollar.

4. An argument over the AIDS epidemic which culminated in a woman telling a mentally retarded man that he was "as dumb as Hitler."

5. A man who stopped in the middle of a crosswalk to kneel in prayer.

6. A dog with balls the size of cantaloupes.

7. A pan flutist trying to impress a teenage girl with the spirituality of his music.

8. An escaped ferret

9. A man who had boarded the bus after being released from the detox ward of the Justice Center, being arrested by the end of the bus trip for public drunkenness.

10. A pamphlet entitled "Witchcraft for Lesbians."